I never dreamt about having a big wedding, or wearing a white dress, and I was lucky enough to meet someone who felt the same way. This is why we eloped to Vegas.
But as our marriage progressed, we bought the house, including the white picket fence. We got a dog and a cat, and soon enough after all of that, our two kids arrived, one by one.
So after nine years of life together, we were ready to celebrate our marriage. And this had to include everyone who had been a part of making our life together as special as we felt it was.
I May Not Be in Kansas Anymore, But I Was Going Back!
I had thought about shopping for the dress in New York or London. But each time I attempted to make an appointment, or even just pop into a bridal shop, it just didn’t feel authentic.
I am not a traditionalist. Regardless, I felt a pull towards my hometown of Kansas City to find the white dress for my Big Day. The wedding was going to take place in Denmark, so I wanted everything else to come from my home. I felt comfortable in Kansas City; after all, it is where I am from, and being away taught me to be proud of that.
Having the Right People
It all starts with a good bridal shop. The search for the perfect white dress ends when you have an experienced salesperson, who finds exactly what you are looking for. I wanted to find this dress with the man whose reputation I grew up hearing about.
So I chose one of the best known bridal shops in town and insisted that the owner sell me the right dress. Michael Nolte from Nolte’s Bridal epitomized bridal for me from a very early age. There was no other option for me – he had to be my experienced salesperson.
I also knew there were two people who had known me best throughout the years, my mom and our close friend, Suzi. Both were among the most meaningful, and different, influences during my early years. They had affected many aspects of how I got to this very moment.
Needless to say, they both made the experience feel very special. They were as excited as I was to be a part of the day. My mom is not one for any kind of shopping, or the typical wedding traditions. But I felt she recognized how important this all was to me. I could feel her happiness for me was real.
And Suzi not only is she like that extremely cool aunt that you can talk about anything with, she is fashionable, beautiful and unique. Her opinion and help was what I needed to encourage me to pick the right dress for the right reasons.
Finding the White Dress
Media had influenced me, and had me dreaming about a designer wedding dress. I had spent years looking forward to trying on the bridal collection from Vera Wang, Carolina Herrera, Valentino or Vivienne Westwood. But the moment I walked in the door for my first appointment with Mr. Nolte, I knew that my decision would be based on the fit, style and color – not the brand.
And when it came right down to it, I realized something that has now spilled over into why I choose to buy the clothes that I buy.
It is not about labels or fashion trends; it is about what a piece of clothing means to you.
I want to feel that what I choose to spend money on will not only fit my body, but also reflect something about myself that I want to express. And something that will continue to reflect that, create true meaning and last despite changing trends.
For my wedding, all I knew was that I wanted to feel like the best version of myself. Based on my inspiration pictures, Mr. Nolte had pulled a few dresses that matched. But from the minute I walked in, I realized they were all wrong! So I gave him cart blanche, and he started bringing in things that looked like the over-the-top dresses I was avoiding like the plague.
An Unexpected Surprise
But after trying on three or four dresses that looked nothing like what I had dreamed about or imagined for myself. I was faced with two dresses that both felt like “the one.” And the beauty of Mr. Nolte is that he could immediately see how to transform them into the dress of my dreams. We took the bodice from one, the skirt from another and the color that I loved – and voila. I was about to have my very own custom-made wedding dress.
I did not anticipate it all happening so fast. Did I really just find THE dress?
This all goes to show that you just know when you know. But at the moment when you “know,” it feels a little sad because you think that the process is officially over. But that is not the case at all! In actuality, you are only just starting – there are now decisions to make about jewelry, shoes and veil … but those are stories in their own right and for another time.
It is nerve-racking when you decide on a custom-made dress and put all of your trust in a stranger to make it exactly the way you are imaging it in your head. Once I had bought the two dresses and they were ripped apart, there was no turning back. On top of it all, I was living in Denmark, so I had to come back to see the dress after it was done. It was not possible to see it along the way.
In the end, it turned out to be the perfect dress for me, and one that I felt amazing in all day and night. I loved everything about it Even if it is one I may never wear again, it is another piece in my wardrobe that I will never forget or regret buying.
what do you think?